Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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