I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
