Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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