I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
