DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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