I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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