highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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