I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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