How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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