Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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