Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
