they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I have post one night stand depression
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
