im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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