Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
