I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
