Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
