He is an equal opportunity slut.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
