i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
