so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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