It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
