i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
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It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
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Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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