Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
