i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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