Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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