he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
