Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i think i have two assholes
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
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just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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