you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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