I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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