But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
