there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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