I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
