I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
