the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
