god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
