She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He felt like a one man threesome
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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