Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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