So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
