Having a random hookup so left but love u
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
