PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
foreskin is a definite game changer
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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