hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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