Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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