I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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