and next time when you feel me up, do it right
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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