I must be too annoying 4 u.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
