Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize