i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
