we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
