you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize