Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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