That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
