the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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