We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
