in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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