i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
