Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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