I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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