dude i'm inner monologue high
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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